Sometimes I wonder how it is some people can always be motivated to do better for themselves. I'm not the greatest person in that regard with my chronic depression. I've been getting there and at the start of the year I tried to get back on track but it's been a struggle to stay motivated when I've not been happy.
Things are slowly getting better.. and there may be reasons to feel happy and when I'm happy I'm the easiest person to get going. I just hope everything continues as is.
I've not made as much progress as I want though I've still not gained anything back.
Right now I just feel like eating any vegetable I see that is within my reach. We recently had an out of state journey to visit my grandparents. Usually this isn't so bad, they don't eat the greatest but last time we saw them was just after my grandpa was diagnosed with diabetes and they were cutting out the soda, eating better smaller meals.
Well we can say that the health went right out the window as soon as they were both retired. They Honestly just don't seem to care. The eating habits are now worse than before his diagnosis. everything is covered in grease, swimming in salt.
I honestly got sick after almost every meal, due in large part to the grease content. I get sick from eating garlic bread if it's to greasy. There were no vegetables to be had other than one dinner out of the whole week we were there.
Honestly, we went to McDonalds once while there and had a better balanced meal than anything that had been cooked in that house.
What's worse was being subjected to it for all three meals of the day. It used to just be breakfast if you want, fend for yourself for lunch and only have to deal with them cooking in the evenings.. Now that they are both retired it's all three meals.. All three horribly disgusting.
I am honestly just upset and sad about it all. I know I'm not the best about being motivated for my weight loss, but I've lost 100lbs already, and knowing I'm still pretty fat and need to lose more.. even knowing that's a whole person I've lost I feel disgusted having been there.
It's sad that people can do that to themselves. Even at my fattest and my mother as well we NEVER ate remotely that horribly.. we just were eating bigger portions than we should.. They will go back for seconds and thirds.. Big huge plates we're talking here..
Coming home has been a happy thing for me.. After seeing that, along with being a bit happier in life finally I'm hoping I can keep on track with everything.
There are still other issues in life like work and school and being injured and sick all the time, but everything has to work out somehow.
I just had to get out how disgusted I was with food there for a week. I really would have rather starved than eat while there.
When they come here.. I don't care if I get glares or anything else, they will be eating what WE eat...
Friday, May 24, 2013
Wednesday, February 27, 2013
February Almost Gone..
I hate to be all lame but I haven't really lost much. I'm now just around 190lbs meaning I'm 10lbs away from having lost 100lbs! I guess that's exciting but I just feel bad about having not been counting recently. I've been so busy with work and school that I just haven't counted. I haven't gained anything back but I've also lost very little. It's sad but somehow it will all work out.
I bought my mom the new 360 plan for her birthday and plan to get it myself with my tax return as well as a few things I need to get for school.
I've started doing yoga to help my back and so far it's been working, though they make it look so much easier than it actually is..
Overall I'm at least still trying to get things done better, just haven't been counting the points. I will probably get to that once I get the new kit.. it's just hard after seeing my moms 360 kit and how the points for my place of employment are sooooooo off from what my book says. She's never home when I am so I haven't been able to even get a photo copy of that page in her book.
I've been eating good though, and trying as always to work on limiting the soda, along with having started yoga and trying to get back into the shape I was before all of this weight.
As with everything else in life, and probably as everyone else sees loosing weight, it's a struggle, but I'm trying. Always trying!
I bought my mom the new 360 plan for her birthday and plan to get it myself with my tax return as well as a few things I need to get for school.
I've started doing yoga to help my back and so far it's been working, though they make it look so much easier than it actually is..
Overall I'm at least still trying to get things done better, just haven't been counting the points. I will probably get to that once I get the new kit.. it's just hard after seeing my moms 360 kit and how the points for my place of employment are sooooooo off from what my book says. She's never home when I am so I haven't been able to even get a photo copy of that page in her book.
I've been eating good though, and trying as always to work on limiting the soda, along with having started yoga and trying to get back into the shape I was before all of this weight.
As with everything else in life, and probably as everyone else sees loosing weight, it's a struggle, but I'm trying. Always trying!
Thursday, January 31, 2013
January in Overview!
So we come to the end of January! I set my New Years goal of losing 5lbs a month for the rest of the year, and started at the new campus for college!
So for the New Years goal, we have Success for month 1! I am happy though I wish I had lost more. I believe I am right at 7lbs for the month so I am right at 200lbs since who knows what was going on with me while I was on the meds for my back. My stomach still hasn't quite recovered from that yet, but we are getting there.
As for my back, I am still in a good deal of pain. It's not as constant as it had been and I can move around. Moving my legs while sitting however still causes horrible pain. I went to the Urgent care at least 3 times before the actual doctors appointment. At said apointment though I got a doctor who basically thought I was faking it to get pain pills. I haven't had time to get in to see anyone else yet but who knows. He just wanted to ship me off to physical therapy to help and basically screamed at me for taking the low does morphine tablets I was given for it at the Urgent care because I am allergic to everything else.
It's been a long road with my back. It's getting better but I don't know when I will feel like me. Physical therapy can't do anything to help me that I can't just do here at home. I've talked with my mom and I plan on trying to get a beginners yoga dvd or something to help stretch out my back and make it not hurt as horribly.
Aside from all of that I have started at my new campus. Still the same college just a different branch of it since my college is weird and has 6 campuses. I'm now downtown and I was terrified at first because it is not safe down there. On campus though there are more cops than you have ever seen in your life in one place. I go for morning and afternoon classes and leave by 3:30 usually so it's not to bad in terms of safety. Parking garage is still iffy but I have self defence keychains to help make me feel safer.
Going to and from class isn't bad, unless you count the one day I had to go home a different way for construction. Then I was at a stop light and heard gun shots not even a block from my car. I about cried.
I'm hoping next month will prove successful as this month has. I planned on being more active with my posts but I have been drowning in my homework and I've been working very long shifts at work when I'm not at school.
Sadly I do not have time to eat between classes so I have resorted to running up the 6 flights of stairs to my second class while downing a slim fast to hold me over till I get home. Not the best but better than skipping out all together!
Wish me luck!
-Sam
So for the New Years goal, we have Success for month 1! I am happy though I wish I had lost more. I believe I am right at 7lbs for the month so I am right at 200lbs since who knows what was going on with me while I was on the meds for my back. My stomach still hasn't quite recovered from that yet, but we are getting there.
As for my back, I am still in a good deal of pain. It's not as constant as it had been and I can move around. Moving my legs while sitting however still causes horrible pain. I went to the Urgent care at least 3 times before the actual doctors appointment. At said apointment though I got a doctor who basically thought I was faking it to get pain pills. I haven't had time to get in to see anyone else yet but who knows. He just wanted to ship me off to physical therapy to help and basically screamed at me for taking the low does morphine tablets I was given for it at the Urgent care because I am allergic to everything else.
It's been a long road with my back. It's getting better but I don't know when I will feel like me. Physical therapy can't do anything to help me that I can't just do here at home. I've talked with my mom and I plan on trying to get a beginners yoga dvd or something to help stretch out my back and make it not hurt as horribly.
Aside from all of that I have started at my new campus. Still the same college just a different branch of it since my college is weird and has 6 campuses. I'm now downtown and I was terrified at first because it is not safe down there. On campus though there are more cops than you have ever seen in your life in one place. I go for morning and afternoon classes and leave by 3:30 usually so it's not to bad in terms of safety. Parking garage is still iffy but I have self defence keychains to help make me feel safer.
Going to and from class isn't bad, unless you count the one day I had to go home a different way for construction. Then I was at a stop light and heard gun shots not even a block from my car. I about cried.
I'm hoping next month will prove successful as this month has. I planned on being more active with my posts but I have been drowning in my homework and I've been working very long shifts at work when I'm not at school.
Sadly I do not have time to eat between classes so I have resorted to running up the 6 flights of stairs to my second class while downing a slim fast to hold me over till I get home. Not the best but better than skipping out all together!
Wish me luck!
-Sam
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
1st Week Down.. Life to Go!
So today was the week mark of my start back on the wagon. I counted my points and ended up using more flex points than I wanted. I weighed myself Friday morning at 6 pounds less than I had been (201). Today however I was still at the same 207. Granted it could be that I just didn't lose anything but as of Friday night I've been on medications for my back that supposedly cause (gasp!) constipation. So I just feel off and that could be why it didn't seem as if I lost anything. I may never know.
Friday afternoon at work I reinjured my shoulder, which in turn set off whatever is going on with my back. I went to the urgent care that night and was prescribed muscle relaxers and lidocaine patches. The patches did nothing. By Saturday I was dying and went to the ER where I was prescribed morphine tablets on top of the relaxers. I've been loopey and just out of it since then. The pain is still horrible but I made it through work yesterday. Today however (probably because I didn't take the morphine before bed) I woke up throwing up and in severe pain, enough so that I had to call into work. Tomorrow I should be good.
It has just been a really long week for me with my back acting up. Next week I start my 3rd semester of college and that will be a challenge for me because I will basically have no time for breakfast or lunch. I somehow have to go to the bathroom, eat and get to my second class in 15 minutes. Not sure how that is going to work out.
As always, soda is the hardest thing for me. Work does NOT help, it's literally just right there.. 24/7 and we can have as much as we want since free drinks are the only benefit we get as employees. My Sodastream has made it better for me because I can have lower point sodas and diet ones that don't taste rank.
I am hoping despite starting college next week that the rest of this week goes by with minimal stress and that next week I somehow manage to get my breakfast and lunch in. Being up at 5am, and not coming home till 4pm would be a very long time without food..
Wish me luck this next week.. hopefully I did really lose a few pounds!
Friday afternoon at work I reinjured my shoulder, which in turn set off whatever is going on with my back. I went to the urgent care that night and was prescribed muscle relaxers and lidocaine patches. The patches did nothing. By Saturday I was dying and went to the ER where I was prescribed morphine tablets on top of the relaxers. I've been loopey and just out of it since then. The pain is still horrible but I made it through work yesterday. Today however (probably because I didn't take the morphine before bed) I woke up throwing up and in severe pain, enough so that I had to call into work. Tomorrow I should be good.
It has just been a really long week for me with my back acting up. Next week I start my 3rd semester of college and that will be a challenge for me because I will basically have no time for breakfast or lunch. I somehow have to go to the bathroom, eat and get to my second class in 15 minutes. Not sure how that is going to work out.
As always, soda is the hardest thing for me. Work does NOT help, it's literally just right there.. 24/7 and we can have as much as we want since free drinks are the only benefit we get as employees. My Sodastream has made it better for me because I can have lower point sodas and diet ones that don't taste rank.
I am hoping despite starting college next week that the rest of this week goes by with minimal stress and that next week I somehow manage to get my breakfast and lunch in. Being up at 5am, and not coming home till 4pm would be a very long time without food..
Wish me luck this next week.. hopefully I did really lose a few pounds!
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Back With the New Year!
After a long break, I am back.
This last year (2012) Really had just been a horrible year for me. All of 2011 I kept up with my Weight Watchers, was motivated and happy. 2012 saw a year in misery and me just trying to get back on my feet after bunch of turmoil in my life. I feel bad that over the course of the year I was never motivated enough to get back on the bang wagon despite still hating my body and how I feel in it.
Over this last year I haven't gained any of the 70lbs I lost (yay me!). I got a job early in the year working at a Culver's, and seeing as I eat the food there on break, it's probably a miracle that I didn't gain anything back. Along with not gaining back and getting a job, I also started college last Summer. I was going full time while working full time and it was quite the nightmare. Since then I've been working more around 20 hours a week while going to school half time and sometimes closer to full time depending on my classes. It's been hard and I'm still not completely motivated, but I am starting to finally get over all the emotional turmoil this last year had for me.
Finally we get to the current year, 2013! As a New Years resolution I made it my goal to get back on the band wagon. As of Yesterday the 1st, I have been counting my points and am glad to say I only used 2 flex points because of a bit of left over Holiday candy staring me in the face. Other than being back on the wagon my ultimate goal that I want is to lose 5lbs a month for the remainder of the year. I don't know if this will work out for me, but it's worth trying for.
So for getting back on, I currently weight 200lbs after what I lost on my first round on Weight Watchers. If I manage my goal I hope to be 140lbs by next year! It might not be doable but I can admit I'd be happy at 160lbs as well.
My mom has also gotten back into her counting as well. She gained over the Holidays and she is not in the slightest happy about it.
I'm hoping that for her Birthday I can manage to get her the new 2013 complete 360 kit. We do Weight Watchers on our own at home with just the kits. It's something I know she will use and appreciate so I find that it'll be the perfect Birthday present for her. Hoping that I'll manage to have myself enough money to buy the complete kit for myself at the same time as well.
It's really just the simple things in life that make me happy and updating is always something that is exciting to jump into.
Aside from all of that I am the proud owner of a new Sodastream Genesis. I love that machine. I mainly wanted it to stop my soda problem. I really just love fizzy drinks and I figured, why not get one, fizz my water and just add those Mio things? Turned out to be fantastic. On the plus side I still love Cola and the Sodastream Cola is Drastically lower in points compared to drinking Regular Coke (which happens to be my favorite). I really hope I'm not imagining things with my calculator though. I used it to calculate the 8oz serving then multiplied to equal the liter bottle I have and I got an insane 3 points total for the liter bottle! I have to say that if that really is the case I might not go completely cold turkey away from my favorite Cola friend!
I hope you have all had a great Holiday Season and have had a great start to the New Year. I plan to try and update this more regularly and am sorry for just vanishing (not that anyone was really reading anyways). I just felt bad about it and I know that the break from everything is what I needed with the crazy year I had. I'm still not 100% but I am slowly trying and slowly making progress to being at least somewhat happy again.
-Sam
This last year (2012) Really had just been a horrible year for me. All of 2011 I kept up with my Weight Watchers, was motivated and happy. 2012 saw a year in misery and me just trying to get back on my feet after bunch of turmoil in my life. I feel bad that over the course of the year I was never motivated enough to get back on the bang wagon despite still hating my body and how I feel in it.
Over this last year I haven't gained any of the 70lbs I lost (yay me!). I got a job early in the year working at a Culver's, and seeing as I eat the food there on break, it's probably a miracle that I didn't gain anything back. Along with not gaining back and getting a job, I also started college last Summer. I was going full time while working full time and it was quite the nightmare. Since then I've been working more around 20 hours a week while going to school half time and sometimes closer to full time depending on my classes. It's been hard and I'm still not completely motivated, but I am starting to finally get over all the emotional turmoil this last year had for me.
Finally we get to the current year, 2013! As a New Years resolution I made it my goal to get back on the band wagon. As of Yesterday the 1st, I have been counting my points and am glad to say I only used 2 flex points because of a bit of left over Holiday candy staring me in the face. Other than being back on the wagon my ultimate goal that I want is to lose 5lbs a month for the remainder of the year. I don't know if this will work out for me, but it's worth trying for.
So for getting back on, I currently weight 200lbs after what I lost on my first round on Weight Watchers. If I manage my goal I hope to be 140lbs by next year! It might not be doable but I can admit I'd be happy at 160lbs as well.
My mom has also gotten back into her counting as well. She gained over the Holidays and she is not in the slightest happy about it.
I'm hoping that for her Birthday I can manage to get her the new 2013 complete 360 kit. We do Weight Watchers on our own at home with just the kits. It's something I know she will use and appreciate so I find that it'll be the perfect Birthday present for her. Hoping that I'll manage to have myself enough money to buy the complete kit for myself at the same time as well.
It's really just the simple things in life that make me happy and updating is always something that is exciting to jump into.
Aside from all of that I am the proud owner of a new Sodastream Genesis. I love that machine. I mainly wanted it to stop my soda problem. I really just love fizzy drinks and I figured, why not get one, fizz my water and just add those Mio things? Turned out to be fantastic. On the plus side I still love Cola and the Sodastream Cola is Drastically lower in points compared to drinking Regular Coke (which happens to be my favorite). I really hope I'm not imagining things with my calculator though. I used it to calculate the 8oz serving then multiplied to equal the liter bottle I have and I got an insane 3 points total for the liter bottle! I have to say that if that really is the case I might not go completely cold turkey away from my favorite Cola friend!
I hope you have all had a great Holiday Season and have had a great start to the New Year. I plan to try and update this more regularly and am sorry for just vanishing (not that anyone was really reading anyways). I just felt bad about it and I know that the break from everything is what I needed with the crazy year I had. I'm still not 100% but I am slowly trying and slowly making progress to being at least somewhat happy again.
-Sam
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)